The Dirty Kitchen Apocalypse Theory

A Generous Helping

I made a discovery amidst my family’s unfortunate new reality. Since I am not a genius, I am sure most of you already knew what I just found out. However, it solved a long-standing conundrum for me.

I’ve been doing the dishes in my domicile for about a decade. There are two reasons and both pertain to my lovely wife. First, her hands get dry and cracked sometimes after she washes dishes. It isn’t a big deal to pitch in and do something, so I figured I could help AND save money on expensive lotions. The second reason is that she said I never looked sexier than when I’m elbow deep in soap suds. If that ain’t reason enough, I don’t know what is.

We have this long running argument about the necessity of some pots, pans, and utensils to the cooking process. I believe that she has an evil plan to…

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I feel like I’m sinking and every day I keep falling just a little bit faster. The empty black space where my peripheral vision used to be caves in just a little bit more each moment. The whirlwind in my mind that captures my every thought gets a little more aggressive every hour. My strong legs feel a little more like jello with each step… But I’m living. I wake up each day, my mind clouded with confusion, but I still have the sense to be grateful. I can still see the sun. I can still hear the birds chirping. I can still say that there is some reason that I continue to wake up. I have a purpose on this earth and until I find that purpose, there is no more wallowing in self pity, because I know with each hardship I am a step closer to knowing who I am and why I am here. I will get through the darkening vision and the unclear thoughts. I will strengthen my legs and climb from the hole that I’ve fallen into and I will run towards my purpose.